Friday, January 22, 2010
Suggested by discussions at various blogs seen during the past day.
I want a pony. You want a pony. Polls show that everybody wants a pony!
Let's build a New Permanent Majority by enacting Pony Reform!
OK, we're committed. Upon this foundation of popular reform we will build our power base...
Wait a moment: I want a dark pony. You want a light one. Megan wants a spotted one.
That pony looks like a damn mule.
This pony craps! Who's going to sweep that mess up???
It eats that much? Somebody is going to have to pay to keep it in a stable? PAY HOW DAMN MUCH???
Well, we can pass a law saying next year we'll cut what we spend on maintaining cows by 20% -- CBO scores that as covering 40% of the cost of Pony Reform. The cow farmers don't like that? Tell them we'll pass a separate bill later fixing it for them.
Who's holding out? Err... tell Ben Nelson, OK, the rest of us will pay the hay cost for Nebraska forever. Son of a...
Pony experts say stabling costs are going to shoot up with demand for ponies as everyone gets one?
Well, we can create a Stable Management Effectiveness Commission to reduce growth in stable costs to 2% below the rate of inflation annually in the future, without reducing quality, using ideas they'll come up with later. CBO will score that as covering growth in costs.
As to the rest of that cost today ... I'm not paying, I make under $250,000.
The unions just announced they need until the 23rd century to renegotiate their contracts to enable their workers to pay their share of the cost...
OK, OK, ... we'll apply the payroll tax to investment income, use it to pay for Ponies, but first run it through the Medicare Trust Fund to strengthen Medicare by putting more IOUs in it, total up all that benefit...
WHAT? Dumbass Massachusetts voters just voted *against* this??
How could they??? Aren't they of all people on our side?
Look at the polls, it's still true -- everybody wants a Pony!
So if the polls also say people don't want Pony Reform it has to be because the ignorant masses don't understand it. And people are lying about it. But everyone will like it after we give it to them.
I'll tell you what the damn problem is, we didn't go far enough, didn't create government-run stables to compete with the profiteers. I told you that. But our leaders sold out at the start to the damn corporate stable interests. What sort of reform is that? No wonder...
But this is still a lot better than nothing, we can fix it later. America has been waiting for Pony Reform for far too long, since Truman! We're almost there. Now's the time!
How craven are all these weasels who want to back down now.
We have to do what's right and force this thing through now for the good of the people, whether they want it or not...